To Boddah pronounced

Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be 
an emasculated, infantile camplainee. This note should be pretty
easy to understand. All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years. Since 
my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with
independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven't 
felt the exitement of listening to as well as creating music
along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about 
these things. For example when we're backstage and the lights go
out and the manic roar of the crowd begins it doesn't affect the way in which it did for 
Freddy Mercury who seemed to love and relish in the love and
adoration from the crowd. Which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is I 
can't fool you. Any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The
worst crime I can think of would be to put people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm 
having 100 % fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch
in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate 
it, and I do. God, believe me I do but it's not enough. 

I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. I must 
be one of one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when
they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasm 
I once had as a child. On our last three tours I've had a much
better appreciation for all the people I've known personally and as fans of our music, 
but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have
for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much. So much 
that it makes me feel too ***ing sad. The sad little, sensitive,
unappreciative, pisces Jesus man! Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know. I have a 
goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a
daughter who reminds me too much of what I used to be.

Full of love and joy kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will 
do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can
barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable self—destructive, 
death rocker that I've become. I have it good, very good,
and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven I've become hateful towards all humans in 
general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along, and
have empathy. Empathy! Only because I love and feel for people too much I guess. Thank 
you all from the pit of my burning nauseous stomach for your
letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don't 
have the passion anymore and so remember, its better to burn
out than to fade away. Peace, love, empathy. Kurt Cobain

Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your alter.

Please keep going Courtney

For Frances

For her life which will be so much happier without me. I Love you. I love you!